また 会う 日 まで (Until We Meet Again)

In less than a week I will be leaving Japan, and it’s hard to explain how truly difficult this is for me.  In total, I’ve lived in Japan for 5 years.  I’ve lived in Kumamoto for 4 years, longer than I’ve lived in any other one place since graduating college.  I’ve met so many amazing people in Japan, and they have become like family to me.  I might be an American, but Kumamoto and Japan are truly my home.

When I moved here, I made a very dangerous prayer.  I told God, “I know that I will be here for a short time, but I pray that when I leave, I will be sad to go and other people will be sad to see me leave.”  God definitely answered that prayer.  At times it feels like my heart is being ripped apart: part of my heart staying with the people I care about in Japan and part going back to America with me.  As hard as this is for me, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  This painful separation means that I truly shared my heart with others and them with me.

I know that my transition back to the U.S. will be challenging and difficult at times.  Sometimes I’ll cry because I miss my friends and Japan so much.  Other times I’ll get so frustrated with American culture and manners that I’ll probably scream.  Of course, I’ll have lots of stories to share about my experiences here too.  I apologize in advance to my family and friends in the U.S. for having to watch this emotional roller coaster and for my occasional outbursts, but please be patient with me through this process.

As one chapter of my life comes to an end and another begins, I’m holding on to one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned from my time in Japan—to persevere through the challenging times.  One of my favorite Japanese words is 頑張る　(がんばる, pronounced ganbaru).  It means to persevere.  Often I hear people using a form of this word to say, “I’ll do my best.” or “I’ll persevere.”  My students, co-workers, and I often say this when we face challenges or difficult situations.  People also use it to say, “Good luck!”  “Fight!”  “You can do it!”  We use it to encourage one another to keep trying, to show our support, or let someone know that we believe in them.  After the Great East Japan Earthquake and Tsunami, all of Japan united in telling the survivors, “がんばって！”  I’m not entirely sure where the road ahead will take me; in fact, I have lots of questions about my future.  But, I do know that God will be with me every step of the way.  頑張ります!  (I’ll do my best and persevere!)

A picture from my last day at Kyushu Gakuin

 

A Reversal of Roles

Imagine giving a speech to over a thousand people.  Everyone is watching your every move and listening intently to each word.  Now imagine doing it in a foreign language.  Soon I will be giving farewell speeches to my students, co-workers, and church members.  To say that I am nervous is an understatement because Japanese has always been very difficult for me. 

I want to do my best because I think of my farewell speeches as goodbye presents to the people who I’ve grown to care about most.  My Japanese teacher helped me prepare the speeches, so I want to give a big “Arigatougozaimasu” to Fukuoka Sensei. 

Recently, I had an idea that could help with the speech-making process.  I had the privilege of coaching two of my students for an English speech recitation contest this year, and they were amazing!  They worked really hard and improved a lot.  English was a foreign language for them, so they understand the difficulties of the task ahead of me.  I laid down my pride and insecurities and asked them to become my speech coaches.

Hanako and Ren, my speech coaches

With our busy schedules, we could only practice together a couple times, but they taught me a lot.  Apparently, in Japan, when people are nervous about giving speeches, they imagine the audience as vegetables.  There’s nothing scary about vegetables, right?  As Ren put it, “We are potatoes.  Relax!”  Every time I remember her advice, it makes me smile.  Thank you for the memories, Ren and Hanako.  I’m so glad that I could teach you and that you could teach me too.

Please pray for peace and ease for me as I give speeches in Japanese.  I pray that I can be a blessing to those listening to my speeches, just like they have been blessings to me.  On a side note, I am trying to avoid thinking about the fact that farewell speeches actually mean that I'm leaving and saying goodbye.  If I think about that part of the situation too much, I might cry during my speeches.  So, I'm also praying for strength during an emotionally difficult time.

Hidden Christians

Imagine a government official or soldier standing before you, demanding that you stand on an engraved, wooden picture of Jesus and Mary.  If you stand on the picture, you will go against your secret, Christian faith.  But, if you refuse and demonstrate your faith, you face the punishment of prison and possibly death.  Many Christians faced this difficult decision between 1614 and 1873, when Christianity was banned in Japan.

a fumi-e, a plaque used to test one's faith

Shusaku Endo wrote a powerful play called The Golden Country, and it’s about the persecution and martyrdom of Christians during this time.  In the introduction, Endo explained what Christians faced if they were captured: "Since the ordinary death penalties by decapitation or crucifixion served but to win admiration for the martyrs, who went to their deaths joyfully, singing hymns and exhorting the crowds, crueler and crueler tortures were devised.  To prolong the agony of victims at the stake, as well as to give additional time for reconsideration, wood was placed at some distance so that the sufferers roasted by the slow fire.  Boiling water from the Japanese hot springs was slowly poured over the victims, a dipperful at a time.  Christians were tied to stakes at the water’s edge at ebb tide and slowly went to their deaths as the tide came in." (Kindle file)**  Endo went on to describe even more graphic and violent techniques used to persuade Christians to deny their faith. I do highly recommend reading this play to learn more about the persecution of Japanese Christians, though it’s not appropriate for children.

 

During the prohibition of Christianity, many hidden Christians lived double lives.  Outwardly, they observed Buddhism and Shintoism, following the edicts of the law.  Secretly, they worshipped God in their homes and continued practicing their Christian faith.  Some people even had secret rooms for worshipping and Buddhist statues with crosses or other Christian icons hidden on the back.

Last week, I joined 2 Japanese pastors, 2 Japanese students, and 3 American missionaries in learning more.  We visited Amakusa, a city where many hidden Christians lived.  First we visited the Amakusa Christian Museum.  I learned that the root of the persecution came from fear.  Many Japanese leaders worried that Western influences were growing too strong and that the Japanese values, culture, and way of life were suffering.  They thought that stamping out Christianity would prevent the spread of Western influences. 

Amakusa Christian Museum

Group picture (plus one random tourist who joined our picture)

Christian Cemetery in front of the Amakusa Christian Museum

Next, we went to the Amakusa Municipal Rosary Museum.  Once again, we couldn’t take pictures inside though.

Amakusa Municipal Rosary Museum

Oe Catholic Church, behind the AMRM

 

Last, we went to Sakitsu Catholic Church.  It’s an old church beautifully situated in a small, fishing village.

Sakitsu Catholic Church

2nd Group Picture

In front of Sakitsu Catholic Church

Japanese Fish Pond with Christian Statues in front of the church

 

Views toward Western culture have dramatically changed during the last century, but only about 1% of Japan is Christian, even now.  I have experienced amazing hospitality during my time as a missionary in Japan, and spending the day with 4 Japanese Christians was just one reminder of that.  Thankfully, Christians are no longer tortured and executed in Japan, but sometimes they do still experience persecution.  Some families think Christianity conflicts with obligations to ancestral shrines or honoring one’s deceased relatives.  Fear of familial conflict or threats of being ostracized from family and friends cause some Japanese Christians to keep their faith a secret from those closest to them.  So, please remember to pray for the hidden Christians that still exist in Japan today, and may God give each of them courage to stay strong in their Christian faith.


**Formatting problems made it impossible to use a correct block quoting format.  Sorry.

Passing the Torch

The time is quickly approaching when I will leave Japan.  As you can imagine, there are a lot of mixed emotions and things to do to prepare for that move.  This period of transitions really started for me last month.

In January, we welcomed 3 new people into the Kumamoto missionary community: Caroline Keenan, Laura Fentress, and Morgan Dixon.  As they participate in orientation activities, they are preparing to work in the Kumamoto Lutheran schools.  As I leave Kyushu Gakuin, Caroline will start working there.  Likewise, Laura and Morgan will start working at Luther Gakuin when Allyson Bedford and Ally Streed leave there.  During the 2 ½ months of overlapping time, I am helping the new missionaries settle in and prepare for their new jobs.    

Laura, Caroline, and Morgan

What happens when you are trying to train the person or people who will fill your position?  I want to make the transition for Caroline as smooth as possible and for her to feel comfortable as she embarks on this new challenge.  Still, there’s that little voice inside of me questioning, “Will people miss me when I’m gone?  Will they recognize just how much I did and how hard I worked?  If someone else just steps in, will it have mattered that I was here?  Will I be remembered?”

The truth is that I am part of a relay race that started more than 50 years ago.  I am in a missionary program where people usually stay for a few years, and then another person steps in to take that position.  I think of the J3 program as one person passing the Olympic torch to another and another and another.  Often we don’t even see the fruits of our labors, but each person is necessary and valuable in this process. Every person that participates is uniquely skilled and gifted for the leg of the race that they run.  Everyone is necessary for completing the race.

2013 J3s and other missionaries

2010 J3 retreat

2006 J3 retreat

2005 J3 retreat

2004 J3 retreat

 So, what relay race are you currently running?  How are you contributing to the efforts that people started before you arrived?  How are you preparing the next generation for the role they will play in that race?

Passing the torch...Give it a try.

I Have a Big Favor to Ask...

Happy New Year!  What does the arrival of a new year mean to you?  Does it mean moving beyond the challenges and hardships of the previous year?  Does it mean a fresh start and new opportunities to achieve your personal, health, and career goals?  Maybe it means both to you, as it does to me.

2012 had some big challenges for me, but it was also a year that marked a spiritual growth spurt in my life.  I learned the importance of putting on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) every day, especially as I worked to teach others about Jesus Christ.  The more I stepped out in my faith, the more the enemy tried to stop me.  Also, I remembered how difficult circumstances in life are often beyond our control or ability to change them; what is in our control, though, is how we face those circumstances.  We can become bitter, resentful, and refuse to change when life seems unfair, or we can ask others for support, make a commitment to do our best, and turn to God for the strength to keep moving forward.  Adversity and growth seem to go hand in hand for me, and that was definitely true in 2012.

 

2013 is going to be full of many major life changes for me.  I want to make the most out of the time remaining for me in Japan since I’m moving back to the U.S. at the end of March.  I’m trying to spend as much time as possible with friends, co-workers, and students.  I know I have many farewell speeches in Japanese and difficult goodbyes ahead of me.  The transition back to America will be full of mixed feelings, moments of reverse culture shock, and challenges.  It’s a bumpy road that I’ve traveled before and will again soon.  In the midst of all of that, I will also tackle finding a new job, moving, and starting over again in a new community.  I don’t really like changes, but they’re an unavoidable part of life and probably a common theme for me this year.

I know that I can’t face 2013 alone; I need strength and support from God, family, and friends.  I am excited to see God’s plans for my life unfold this year.  I’m glad that even though I have so many questions about my future, I can trust God to be with me every step of the way.  Now, I have a big favor to ask: please keep me in your prayers this year as I journey into the unknown and face transitions around every corner.  May God bless you and your family in 2013 too!